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Archive for March, 2011

An Episode in Dating: Getting Emotional

March 31st, 2011 Comments off

Continued from…

The conversation I had with Matt after our training ride turned out not to be our last.  For the next couple weeks we’d meet to train for the race.  Some days were fine and it seemed like we were making progress.  Whether that was towards a friendship or something more, I wasn’t quite sure.

Other days he’d say something that would upset me and biting comments about the break up would be hurled, and/or he would go silent at the prospect of me saying something that admittedly wouldn’t be all that nice.  After two weeks of getting emotional with each other, we took a break and started training separately.

I received an email from the Race Committee letting me know that I should have received my race packet, as they were sent in the mail last week.  I hadn’t received mine, so I emailed Matt to see if he received his.  I got this email from Matt in response: Read more…

Categories: GayDating, Matt Tags: ,

Dating Soundtrack: Girlfriend by Pebbles

March 30th, 2011 2 comments

I know.  It’s not the new Britney Spears single but it’s my blog and I’m gonna play DJ the way I want.

Pebbles for you youngins was big in the 80’s with her hit singles Girlfriend and Mercedes Boy.  She’s also famous for being the founder and manager of the group TLC.

I’ve always loved this song for the rap, although the actual lyrics are really good in explaining why you need to get rid of that low-down dog of a man, girlfriend.  This video is amazing.  I counted at least 5 different hairstyles for Pebbles and the proliferation of the S Curl look is hilarious.

Pebbles is now a minister (I wonder if her and Vanity talk?) and you can visit her website here.

 

Categories: Music Tags:

Being Popular

March 30th, 2011 2 comments

My favorite beach movie!

“There’s nothing worse than wanting a man and having no way to approach him that doesn’t come off as being a brazen hussy.”- Kissing Kamal

Many moons ago, I ventured off to Provincetown for a week-long beach vacation with my friends Blaine and Chris.

It was a perfect Tuesday morning, and I’d just come back to the house from a bike ride down Commercial St. to Joe Coffee & Espresso.  Chris went out for a morning run and Blaine was sitting on the couch reading a gay beach book with an uncharacteristic look on his face.

“What’s wrong Blaine?” I said.  “Why so glum?  That book can’t be that bad.  It’s 200 pages and in large font.”

“Kamal, you have to tell me: honestly what’s wrong with me?”

I was shocked by Blaine’s mood as the trip had been going fine so far with no apparent drama.  I let him continue to find out what was eating at him. Read more…

Dating in Facebook: Is Defriending the right way to go?

March 29th, 2011 Comments off

Sorry Anderson :(

In the good ole days of 10 years ago, when you stopped seeing someone either you became friends or they eventually faded away.  You might run into them at a party or see them out at a bar or the supermarket, but one never had to worry about having constant reminders of a relationship that didn’t work out.  That was before Facebook.

In today’s interactive digital age, former loves tend to stay around and possibly linger a lot longer than they should.  While seeing their activity on Twitter, Flickr, Instagram, Foursquare or even Grindr can create unforeseen anxious moments, or irksome disdain depending on how things ended, nothing else seems to compare to the full frontal attack of an Ex’s Facebook Feed. Read more…

Kissing Kamal Is In Print!

March 28th, 2011 Comments off

Below is an online version of the Washington Blade’s print edition, and in it you can read the article I wrote for them on Bear Happy Hour and why it’s a great place to relax even if you’re not a “bear.”

I love working with the Editors over at The Blade and who knows? Maybe Kissing Kamal will become a regular, dare I say it, column?!

Enjoy the article.

-xoxo

Read more…

An Episode in Dating: Chains of Love

March 24th, 2011 Comments off

via fixiefiend.com

Continued from…

I could see the spires of the Mormon Temple rising above the tree line as we biked back towards the beginning of Beach Drive in Rock Creek Park.  Matt was a bike length or two behind me on his Bianchi.  We took turns taking lead but never really drafted off each other; which also meant that we weren’t really working together.

The bike ride was going pretty much like the telephone call Matt and I had after Jarrod told me about his conversation with Matt.  It was a little awkward, mostly filled with silence and long pauses, and the conversation that we did have was technical or logistical in nature.

When I called Matt, I didn’t want to launch into anything about how or why he abruptly ended our relationship.  If there was something he truly had to say, I wanted to give him as much breathing room as he needed to feel comfortable saying it.

In all honesty, I wanted him to say that he was sorry and yes, I wanted to hear the words “maybe we can give it another try” roll off of his beautiful lips.  Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Char were helping me slowly get over Matt, but Jarrod’s new information that Matt was having regrets put a halt to all of that.  I was in that murky place of limbo where you want to get over the person but still want to be open to them wanting to come back. Read more…

Elizabeth Taylor: May we love like her life and not like her movies

March 23rd, 2011 2 comments

BUtterfield 8

The passing of Elizabeth Taylor reminded me why I love her so much as an actress.  One of my favorite Elizabeth Taylor performances was her portrayal of Gloria Wandrous in Butterfield 8.  I like it for all the reasons that any gay man loves a performance by a strong actress. It was cunning, with the right amount of sultriness and a little camp thrown in for good measure.

But in reading Wikipedia today and browsing other articles on her movie career, I was reminded that Taylor’s adult film roles were mostly portrayals of loose women and home wreckers without many scruples.

For me, it was Taylor’s ability to breathe life into these characters that made them so endearing and made me love her more as a fan.  But when I step outside of the movie theatre and look at these roles in the light of love, dating and relationships, I can’t say that I find much merit in acting the way that Taylor portrayed these women on screen.

When looking back on Taylor’s life, I’d rather look to her personal romances for cues.  Now granted, she did steal another woman’s husband, but overall, her marriages and romances represent someone who lived life with an immense passion and celebrated the emotions of love instead of putting it into a box, to be checked off on a list of wants for an ideal mate.

RIP Liz Taylor.  May we all love even a fraction as much as you did.

Categories: Uncategorized Tags:

The Boy You Lost to Cocaine

March 22nd, 2011 1 comment

With all of the recent talk about “winning” and lawyers getting arrested for buying crack cocaine (see here), my thoughts have been stuck on the topic of dating someone with a substance abuse problem and whether it is possible to do so and have a healthy relationship.

I once dated a guy who was a recreational user of one of those drugs that gay men are apt to identify by a woman’s name.  I didn’t know this when we first started dating until one night we went out dancing and his behavior was so erratic that I asked him whether he was high and he admitted that he was. Read more…

Categories: Dating Tips, GayDating Tags:

An Episode in Dating: Regrets?

March 18th, 2011 Comments off

This flamingo shouldn't have crossed the road.

Continued from…

“Kamal, I was chatting with Matt earlier today on gmail … I think he regrets what he said to you on New Year’s and might have a change of heart.”  Jarrod repeated the words he said to me earlier, but this time in person over lunch at Domku.

“Okay, wait.  This is totally throwing me for a loop.  Why were you guys chatting on gmail to begin with?”

“Well Matt seemed like a nice guy the times I got to hang out with him and we’ve just been chatting with each other whenever we’re both online.”

“Okay, so did he IM you or did you IM him?” Read more…

Categories: Jarrod, Matt Tags: , ,

Dating at Work

March 17th, 2011 Comments off

I was in the office recently on the weekend to catch up on some work stuff.  There were a small number of people working and the atmosphere was as casual as you’d expect it to be on a weekend.  I got up from my desk to walk outside and grab a Starbucks and made it out the front door to the elevator lobby when I spotted Ben Affleck coming out of the Mens Room.

Now of course it wasn’t the real Ben Affleck but it was a co-worker of mine who is tall, handsome, has great eyes, and a slight Boston accent; just like Ben.  Unlike Affleck, this Ben plays on Team Homo.

“Hey Ben!” I said as I walked towards him.  Ben turned around and I stopped dead in my tracks.  I’d never seen him in casual clothes at work, and it’s probably a good thing because he looked damn good.  His faded jeans and college t-shirt did nothing to hide the muscles that he worked on every day in the building’s gym. Read more…