Dating in Facebook: Is Defriending the right way to go?
In the good ole days of 10 years ago, when you stopped seeing someone either you became friends or they eventually faded away. You might run into them at a party or see them out at a bar or the supermarket, but one never had to worry about having constant reminders of a relationship that didn’t work out. That was before Facebook.
In today’s interactive digital age, former loves tend to stay around and possibly linger a lot longer than they should. While seeing their activity on Twitter, Flickr, Instagram, Foursquare or even Grindr can create unforeseen anxious moments, or irksome disdain depending on how things ended, nothing else seems to compare to the full frontal attack of an Ex’s Facebook Feed.
The daily Facebook updates on an Ex’s status, attendance at events, photos or What Real Housewife he’s most like, work to form a constant reminder of them in your head. This actually goes against the reality of why you ended things with the person in the first place.
So do you hide the Ex from your News Feed or defriend all together? Frankly, I’ve only hidden one Ex on Facebook, and that was after breaking it off with a fella who immediately found another guy to date and the two of them became a sexually carnivorous couple. I’d get Facebook messages from the Ex like “having a party. Need more Vers Tops. Text me.” I un-hid the Ex after he broke it off with T-Rex and regained his senses.
I don’t know if defriending is appropriate or not, as I have yet to defriend someone I dated. But I have been defriended/hidden by Exs and I can only assume it’s because they opted not to have that constant reminder.
We all have our ways of dealing with situations that don’t work out, so if it’s hiding, defriending or the infamous blocking of a Facebook user, then do what you need to for your own peace of mind. Personally, I don’t mind keeping them around. But if they become a pain in the ass, then they will sashay away from my Facebook Feed.