An Episode in Dating: Avoiding Him Is Bliss?
Van Goodwin invited you to the event “Bon Voyage!” read the email from Facebook that I received several days ago. I let the invite linger in my Inbox, giving some time for the RSVPs to trickle in.
Matt and I had been avoiding each other since our email tête-á-tête about traveling together to the bike race in Ohio. While we weren’t going out of our way to completely switch up our respective routines, we would occasionally send each other a message like “I’m not going to happy hour tonight” which we both knew meant, “you can go there tonight and have no fear of me walking in and making things awkward.”
Being invited to Van’s event presented a potential problem. Van was leaving DC for several months on a work trip and there was much talk about sending him off with a bang. I wasn’t “best friends” with Van (and neither was Matt), but I wanted to go and show my support and I knew that Matt would want to do the same.
After giving it a few days, I finally went to the Facebook page for Van’s party and there it was: Matt’s RSVP was No, with a Wall Post that said “I have another event in Virginia Beach that day. Don’t think I can make it.” A sigh of relief leapt from inside of me as I clicked on the I’m Attending button.
The night of Van’s party rolled around, and Clay came along as my plus 1. I filled him in on the Matt situation while we walked to the party.
“Kamal, I don’t get it. If you’re over each other, then why do you need to avoid each other?”
“I can’t speak for Matt, but I have no interest in seeing him right now. Of course I’ll say hi if I see him out, but that doesn’t mean that I want to see him.
“I am trying to get over him but I’m not entirely there yet either. Sometimes I’m not sure if I pushed him too hard to say things he wasn’t ready to say, and I wonder if he just needs some time. Anyway, that last bit is for him to worry about and not me. It’s time to move on.”
“Okay … just make sure that by avoiding him you’re not ignoring the feelings about him and your relationship that you need to deal with.”
“Thanks Clay. Believe me; I’m trying to deal with what I can.”
“I know you are Kamal. Hello?! Who is that choice morsel?”
Clay spotted a tall, handsome Middle Eastern guy standing outside Level One; the restaurant that Van rented for the Bon Voyage party. There was a line to get in as Security screened entrants against a guest list and gave party goers red wristbands for drinks and food.
“Clay, I thought you were decreasing your manprint or whatever.”
“It’s dickprint, and I’m working on it.”
We made our way into the restaurant and there was a healthy and boisterous crowd in attendance to see Van off. We got our drinks and started chatting with some friends when I noticed Matt standing about 5 ft away. Apparently he was able to make it.
I pointed Matt out to Clay and just as I did so, Matt came walking over in our direction. The crowd was tight, which meant that Matt had to come our way if he wanted food or a drink. Matt walked towards our group, cut through the middle, and moved on without saying hello to anyone. He completely and utterly ignored me.
To be continued…