An Episode in Dating: The Good, Bad and Ugly
Matt walking past me at the party and not speaking wasn’t a possibility that I came prepared for. An awkward hello followed by looking at each other, but not looking at each other across the room for the rest of the night? Yeah, I totally came prepared for that to happen. But not speaking?
I immediately downed my drink and asked Clay to get me two of the same. We were chatting with a group of people who didn’t know Matt so no one noticed when he didn’t stop to say. I acted like nothing was wrong.
Clay came back with three drinks for us. I immediately downed one and took the other to nurse on.
“You okay there Kamal?” Clay said to me with a look of concern.
“Yeah Clay, I’m fine” I said. “We came here to have fun and I refuse to let Matt put me in a bad mood. Come on, I’ll introduce you to Van.”
We made our way over to Van who was at another end of the bar. Van was chatting with a bunch of folks, as is his wont. We joined in the conversation and wished Van well on his new adventure. More drinks were had as the atmosphere of the party generally started to pick up with loud chatter and guests becoming more animated as they enjoyed the generous open bar.
I had broken off from Clay, who I could see was talking with the Middle Eastern guy from earlier, and I was chatting with Hugh, another friend of Van’s who I had just met. While I was definitely in an inebriated state, I was having fun at the party and meeting new people.
Hugh and I were standing near a hallway having our conversation when out of nowhere, Matt walks up, says “excuse me,” and cuts in between us in order to make his way to the bathroom. Okay, now I’m ticked.
To ignore me once at a party is one thing. Maybe you were nervous or wanted to avoid any awkwardness. Whatever. But to blatantly ignore me a second time when you have to walk through a conversation I’m having with some one?? Beyond rude. Hugh and I made our way over to the bar. Shots!
Van’s party had officially reached full swing. All 400 people were packed into Level One and some were starting to make their way up to the dance floor via the back stairwell. I was having a conversation with some people about, of all things, relationships and break ups when Matt walked by me again. This time, I reached for his arm and pulled him in.
“Yes, wouldn’t you agree, Matt, that two people who date should be able to break up like adults and not ignore each other?!” Probably realizing that this was a personal conversation, the people I was talking with kind of backed away from us leaving Matt and I alone.
“Kamal, I needed some time away from you. I needed to be alone.”
“Matt that’s totally cool. I don’t want to be around you every waking moment either. But to completely ignore me at a party and not even say hello is bullshit and you know it. Even if we had only dated for a week, I’d still expect you to grant me the decency of a hello! …”
That’s all I remember saying from my drunken, dressing-down of Matt for his ignorant, ignoring behavior. I remember the look on his face changing from stoic indifference, to terror, to that look every kid has when they’re wanting to get out of their parents eye sight with only the punishment they already received.
At some point Matt said I’m sorry, and I let him walk away; satisfied that I had made my point and presence known.
I walked over to the bar to get a drink and noticed a cute, dark-haired guy checking me out.
“Bartender, I’ll get that drink!” the guy yelled, as he came over to me.
“But it’s an open bar!” I said, looking at this new stranger.
“Well then I guess I’ll have to buy you a drink some other time. What’s your name?”
“Pleasure to meet you Kamal. My friends call me Scotty.”
To be continued…