An Episode in Dating: Vision of Love
I woke up on a Thursday morning and something just wasn’t right. There was something on my mind that I couldn’t quite put my finger on and it was bugging the ish out of me.
I lay in bed for a moment to take a quick inventory of my life. Work? Check. House? Check. Family? Check. After going through the major priorities, I came to my relationship with Matt and that’s when the alarms started going off like crazy. Oh no.
After everything Matt and I had been through. After dating him, and getting dumped on New Year’s Day. After telling him off in high Dynasty style, then making peace with him through a hangover haze. Matt and I had finally gotten to the point where we were friends-ly-ish, and I sat in my bed wondering, “do I really still have feelings for the kid?”
No. Hell to the no. No way on God’s green Earth, I said to myself. Get the eff up and go to work and get this fantasy out of your head.
I paid attention to my inner voice but it just wasn’t working. I was able to concentrate on work but I continued to question my feelings for Matt and what that meant in the grand scheme of things.
This is ridiculous Kamal. You’re probably just a little agitated because you’ve been sleeping alone at nights. It was true. I had taken some time to focus on myself lately and wasn’t entertaining a lot of gentlemen callers. Maybe I had some unused energy that needed channeling. I checked my email to see if my men’s yoga group was meeting that night and they were. Yoga was exactly what I needed to center myself and get my mind back on track.
A large thunderstorm rolled into DC that evening, but I was determined to go to yoga that night. The roads were treacherous but I made it to the yoga studio in one piece. As I greeted my fellow yogis and prepared for that night’s practice, I found the peace of mind and focus I needed through meditation.
Halfway into the yoga class, my feelings for Matt came back into my head with a greater intensity than before. I couldn’t shake it this time, and as the class ended, I rushed out of the door and headed straight to my car.
I sat in the car for a minute as the rain cascaded down on all sides. I picked up my phone and called Matt.
“Hey Matt, it’s Kamal.”
“Of course I know who it is” he said. I let out a nervous laugh. “What’s going on?”
“Well Matt … I can’t explain it but you’ve been on my mind a lot lately. I don’t know why, but I keep thinking about us, and what happened with us. I’m not looking for any answers to the past but I guess what I’m trying to say is … I’m wondering if you’d be okay with giving it another go.”
“Fine.” said Matt.
To be continued …