Kissing Kamal

Oh Jason Mraz.

I don’t know if it was one too many mosquito bites from this weekend but I’m a little under the weather today. Okay, enough with the whining.

This post was inspired by a friend from elementary school who posted the following meme on her Facebook Wall about the differences between girls and grown women when it comes to dating and relationships. I thought it very powerful and telling of how mature people behave in relationships, and deserving of some thought from those of us looking for love.

I thought about changing the wording to bois and Grown Men, but what’s described transcends gender and speaks more to maturity and self-esteem. Take a read for yourself.

Grown Women – Author unknown

Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.
Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.

Girls want to control the man in their life.
Grown women know that if he’s truly hers, he doesn’t need controlling. Read more…

I wrote a post recently about dating a guy with a small penis (read it here), and thought it only fair to also write about dating a guy with a large one. Yes, you Size Queen, there are problems associated with dating generously endowed men; although not necessarily the ones you may already be thinking about.

Neil was a handsome graduate student that I met at a fundraising event. He was quite charming and very funny, and would occasionally serenade me with songs like Umbrella by Rihanna. Neil was one of the few men I’ve actually cooked meat for, which means I kinda liked him, and we were hanging out at my place one night watching TV when things decided to take a turn.

Now Neil and I weren’t officially dating at this point. We were hanging out and getting to know each other, but the d-word had never been spoken. Yes, there was a mutual attraction, which is why I didn’t back away when he made a move and kissed me. Neil’s lips were gorgeous, and he kissed me like I knew he could.

Things moved to the bedroom and Neil got undressed. Surprise! It was big. To say that Neil had a third foot would be an understatement. And that wasn’t the only thing on Neil that was big. Read more…

I went out Saturday night and got insulted. Yes, I understand that in gay life this occurrence is no big whoop, but the fact that it happened at a party in someone’s house and in front of the host, to me sets a new meter reading for noxious fumes coming from a stuck-up queen in the most inappropriate of settings.

I attended a friend’s house party and was having a good time when the group I came with decided to leave. We were saying our good byes to the host and the guests still present, when I said “nice meeting you” to one fella, who immediately turned to his group of friends and said, “did you see the look she gave me when she said good bye?”

Now keep in mind that he made no attempt to hide his comment and said it well within my earshot as I was saying goodbye to the host. Not wanting to cause a scene but also not wanting to let it go, I immediately turned to him and asked if there was something he had a problem with. He mumbled no and I left, and that was the end of it as far as I was concerned; although it’s fair to say that his tacky remark didn’t sit well with me for the rest of the evening. Read more…

For better or for worse?

There’s been a lot of talk lately about jobs and poverty, as the U.S. Census announced on Tuesday that 1 in 6 Americans is living below the poverty line (read it here). The Great Recession marches on; in the face of hopeful plans to get us out of it by our elected leaders. But I digress.

Cruising around DC’s gay neighborhoods and social circles, one could genuinely question whether any effects of the Recession are being felt. While life continues as normal for some, there are those who are feeling the pain of job losses or down-periods in their businesses, although they aren’t mentioning these things over cocktails or Sunday brunch. For example, 1 out of every 13 DC residents is a lawyer, and the legal profession has seen blood-letting layoffs in recent years that are truly unprecedented.

Lawyers aren’t the only ones feeling the pain of layoffs and job restructuring, as I’ve heard from friends working in typical DC professions (non-profit, trade associations, lobbying groups, government contractors). So what is it like to date someone who is unemployed or underemployed? Does it create an added layer of stress in the relationship?

I usually interview someone for posts like this and today I’m going to interview myself. I was a recession casualty and went through a period of underemployment until I was able to hustle my way back to the level in my career that I had previously held. I dated several people during this time and each got to see me in varying stages of my job search. Read more…

Continued from …

“That’s all he said was ‘fine’?!”

I was having a cupcake with Jarrod during the workday and telling him about my phone call with Matt and the rekindling of our relationship.

“Yeah Jarrod, that’s the only thing he said, and to be frank, I’m surprised that he even said that.  I didn’t know what he was going to say when I called him, and I really expected to get his voice mail.”

“Okay, so after you asked him if he wanted to get to know each other again and he said ‘fine’, what else did you talk about?” Read more…

The official end of summer is upon us, and if you’ve spent the past three months dating a special someone, then you’re probably ready to have “the talk” about what you’re doing and if you’re ready to call it a relationship.  So then what do you do when your Special Guy says, “I really like being with you and I want to date you exclusively, and I want to leave room in our relationship to enjoy other people sexually.”  Uh, what?!

I don’t think I’m telling you anything new, but open relationships come with the territory known as “single, gay and dating.”  There is a natural bend towards viewing open relationships as something couples consider once they’ve established a solid foundation.  But more and more I’m noticing couples who find it okay to begin their journey of getting to know each other while still leaving room to physically enjoy others.

No, these guys aren’t two f—k buddies trying to make a go of something.  They are regular guys who want love and a solid relationship, but also realize that their libido may not be ready for a completely monogamous one; which leads me to ask:

Is it a good idea to begin a relationship as an open one, or are you inviting trouble into your dating journey from the start?

Taylor is in his twenties and has been dating Tony for a little over five months.  They consider themselves a couple and are in an open relationship. Read more…