A lot of my women friends on Facebook have linked to or talked about the recent relationship advice post on the site Divine Caroline which is titled, “If A Man Wants You.” The post passes on sage advice about not getting stringed along by a man, not putting his needs before yours, etc. etc. You can read the advice post here.
Now if you’re a woman and you need to hear that kind of thing, or think it’s good advice to pass on, then have at it. I’m all for people waking up to the reality of their situation and if this is something that helps, then great. But as a gay man, I read the advice and the overarching thought running through my head was, there is no way in hell this ish applies to gay relationships. Read more…
Merry merry merry Marys. As you all know by now, Facebook rolled out its new Timeline format and plans on making it mandatory in the next month or so.
Facebook Timeline is a true Stalker’s Delight; organizing all of your status updates, Wall posts, and most notably pictures (it seems that Facebook values our pictures more and considers worded thoughts only secondary) by year, month and day. Want to know what I was doing on Facebook in 2008? Just click on that year and view all of my updates, pics, trips, etc. in an easy to view format. What’s also easy to view on the new Timeline is information about who your Facebook friends were dating and what possibly went wrong in the relationship.
Maybe it’s because I blog about dating but I’m noticing a fair amount of ex-boyfriends popping up in my Timeline. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing. I’m a firm believer in ending things on a good note, and don’t find anything wrong with Facebook highlighting my “Springtime Love” album (not that I would seriously have anything that cheesy … maybe…).
But what I do have a problem with is Facebook’s amazing ability to remember everything and difficulty in complying with your want to not remember certain things. If I want to say, erase any memory of a certain someone from my Timeline then I should be able to do that without having to ‘Block’ the person. Yeah, this might speak to other issues that I may not be managing well, but if Facebook can remember that I was “in relationship with” someone who I’m not even now friends with, then it should be able to connect the dots and give me an option to hide them from my Timeline for however long I see a need to do so. Read more…
A lot of “new words in the American lexicon” lists are published around this time of year, and looking at one which rated ‘Carmageddon’ as the top new word for 2011 got me to thinking: if the new word in the single, gay and dating lexicon for 2010 was “douche,” then the hands down new word for 2011 is “bro.”
Whether you are “about it bro” or not, the fascination with bros, bro language, and bro behavior has been everywhere this year; even on the single, gay and dating scene. And yeah bro, there are plenty of gay men, myself included, who like them some bros and don’t mind crushin’ a few brews at a bar if it could lead to crushin’ something else later.
So what is it about a bro that’s so damn attractive? It’s a little hard to quantify generally, but for me it’s the actions, personality, euphemisms, etc. that present as natural behavior instead of a male posture or impersonated drag. Read more…
I was in the gym on the treadmill, finishing mile 3 on my way to mile 4, when I noticed the first Sex and the City movie on the flat screen to my immediate right. Maybe it was the endorphins from running but I immediately felt some extra pep in my step from watching the girls do their thing and critiquing whether the fashions in the movie have held up over time.
There was no sound but I didn’t need any, as I know the movie well enough to summarize every scene and figure out what’s being said. As I looked at Sex for the umpteenth time and fumbled for a new running song on my iPod, I noticed that a lot of my music was about relationships, with more than a few songs sung by a woman relating what a man has done to her, for her, or against her; and what she has done or felt in return.
While I consider myself to be a smart cookie when it comes to dating, I began to wonder if I was being influenced to think about dating and romance in a way that just wasn’t realistic for my circumstances. Sure, there may come a day when I put everything he owns in a box to the left, or have a man I can write a bad romance with, but in my reality I’m just a dude, looking for some same-dude loving; and thinking about dating in a context that doesn’t apply to me does nothing except create unrealistic expectations. Read more…
I’ve been away from the blog for almost a month and the first thing I notice is that the traffic spiked through the roof while I was gone. I’m glad so many of you liked the last post on Douchebags of Grindr and I promise that the story will continue very soon.
Why the absence you ask? In short, writing is hard. And as I’ve written about before (read here), writing a reality blog is even harder. Finding time to sit down and write lately has been a challenge, but I hope to change that going forward by incorporating a newer style of writing into the blog. Look for shorter posts that relate a thought, idea or story about dating, in addition to my regular vignettes.
And yes, I will continue with An Episode in Dating but I just want to remind folks that this story is not happening in real time. In fact, very little of what I write happens in real-time given my self-imposed rules against writing about situations directly after they happen.
Also, please continue to keep your topic ideas coming. As you can tell by now, I’ve been on plenty of dates and chances are that I’ve been in the same situation before.