I ended last week being a little frustrated with the blog. After writing a post on barebacking and how it can play a part in dating and relationships, I expected a bevy of comments about the topic only to wind up with the sound of internet crickets.
While I do appreciate the one and only comment from Brad, who runs a barebacking site that has some pretty hot porn, I feel like most people looked past my point: if you are having sex without condoms while dating then ask yourself if your expectations and feelings regarding emotional and physical intimacy are being colored.
I was discussing this with a friend last Friday over drinks, and after a couple swigs from his beer he said, “Kamal, you’re asking people to comment on a topic that a lot of guys just don’t talk about. You’re right that a lot of guys do it, but because of barebacking’s association with HIV and AIDS, a lot of guys consider the subject taboo and just don’t talk about it.”
And why is it that we, as men who are single, gay, dating and looking for love, are not talking about this? Read more…
Another Reader Request: why are there guys who still insist on barebacking? Honestly, I can’t answer why some guys insist on having bareback sex when they hardly know the sexual history and health status of their partners. But I do have something to say about guys who bareback while dating, and I hope you stick around to read my thoughts on that.
Skin to skin sex is preferred by many guys for obvious reasons. Barebacking has long been touted as one of the benefits of being in a committed relationship with a boyfriend or trusted f-buddy (I know some of you don’t use rubbers with your f-buddy so don’t shoot me for shining a light on it!). But boyfriends and long-term f-buddies / we’re both in denial that we’re actually boyfriends, aren’t the only situations where trust is established and the rubbers come flying off as the legs go up in the air.
While not yet “boyfriends” with the other fella, some guys have decided to establish a level of trust in the relationship that allows for them to have skin to skin sex with each other while dating. Shock and awe, but I’ve been in this kind of situation too. Even though it’s something I’ve done with no regret, the question still lingers as to whether it was the right thing to do in terms of dating and getting to know the person in that particular instance. Read more…
Is dealing with repairmen and contractors much like being single, gay and dating?
I’ve been stressed beyond belief all week and it’s all due to repairmen. I haven’t been able to concentrate on work, social outings, or writing this blog due to worry and stress caused by their actions.
It all started when I got into a relationship with one who promised to treat me right. He presented himself well, talked like he was sure of himself and sure of my needs, and any friend I asked had nothing bad to say about him. Everything was there that made me believe things with him would work out.
Then the typical problems started. The signs were there but I ignored them: never answering the phone when I called; only replying to me via text; promising to be there, then cancelling at the last minute or just not showing up at all.
Read more…
