Kissing Kamal

Not this one, the other one! Sigh!

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After work, I stopped in at Whole Foods to pick up some last minute items for a meal I planned to make.  I was in the produce aisle looking over the fennel when a voice from behind me said, “can I help you find something?”

OMG, that velvety smooth voice!  I turned around and it was Idris.  I took one look at him and almost lost my footing.  This man put the ‘well’ in well dressed, wearing an impeccable navy blue suit with a handsome shirt and tie combination.  His smile was like a laser beam set on full blast, and I was melting right in front of him.

“Hey Idris” I said.  “What a surprise running into you here.”  As if I didn’t know that he lived in the area.

“Yeah, same here Kamal.  It’s been a while since we last saw each other.  How are things?”

“Things are good.  Just picking up some items for dinner.  In fact, I’m cooking a big meal with no one to share it with.  You’re welcome to come over and join me,” I said with a smile.

While I was utterly captivated by Idris and his sexy demeanor, don’t think for one second that I was going to miss out on this opportunity that Fate thrust into my lap. Read more…

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“That’s all he said was ‘fine’?!”

I was having a cupcake with Jarrod during the workday and telling him about my phone call with Matt and the rekindling of our relationship.

“Yeah Jarrod, that’s the only thing he said, and to be frank, I’m surprised that he even said that.  I didn’t know what he was going to say when I called him, and I really expected to get his voice mail.”

“Okay, so after you asked him if he wanted to get to know each other again and he said ‘fine’, what else did you talk about?” Read more…

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I woke up on a Thursday morning and something just wasn’t right. There was something on my mind that I couldn’t quite put my finger on and it was bugging the ish out of me.

I lay in bed for a moment to take a quick inventory of my life. Work? Check. House? Check. Family? Check. After going through the major priorities, I came to my relationship with Matt and that’s when the alarms started going off like crazy. Oh no.

After everything Matt and I had been through. After dating him, and getting dumped on New Year’s Day. After telling him off in high Dynasty style, then making peace with him through a hangover haze. Matt and I had finally gotten to the point where we were friends-ly-ish, and I sat in my bed wondering, “do I really still have feelings for the kid?”
Read more…

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It was great spring weather for a mental health day. I emailed in sick from work and decided to take advantage of the clear sky and high 60′s temperature to go for a long training ride on the WOD trail.

With the recent drama from Van’s party seemingly behind us, Matt and I still weren’t actually speaking to each other but we had stopped avoiding each other. No more text messages telling where we would be so as to avoid the other, and there was no talk from either of us about not doing the bike race in Ohio, which was now coming up soon on the calendar. Read more…

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After my hangover from the weekend finally subsided, I was able to put most of the pieces from Van’s farewell bash together in my head.  Sure, there was the confrontation and follow up phone call with Matt, but there was also the Scotsman nicknamed Scotty who I was somehow able to flirt with in my drunken haze such that he invited me out on a date the following Thursday night.

Date night arrives, and Scotty shows up at my door.  He’s as handsome as I remember him being with jet-black hair and brown eyes.  Not a ringer for Sean Connery but a definite inheritor of the rugged good looks characteristic of Scottish men.

“Hi handsome.”

“Aw thanks.  Hi Scotty.”

“You ready for tonight?” Read more…

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It was the rare morning such as this one that I hated the floor-to-ceiling windows in my bedroom.  I normally enjoy the light that cascades in but when you’re wickedly hungover to the point of still being slightly drunk, “spacious windows that let in tons of light” is the last thing you want to deal with.  Damn, where is that Advil?

I looked over at the clock and it read 11:30am.  I sat slightly curled to the side in bed, checking my phone and waiting for the Advil to kick in before trying to put my feet on the ground.  Damn Van and his open bar.  Why did I drink so much?  Oh, that’s right.  I saw Matt and started acting like a honey badger.  Wait, who else did I meet?

I sat in bed trying to piece together the various events from last night and the phone rang.  The caller ID says Matt.  I decided to answer. Read more…

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Matt walking past me at the party and not speaking wasn’t a possibility that I came prepared for.  An awkward hello followed by looking at each other, but not looking at each other across the room for the rest of the night?  Yeah, I totally came prepared for that to happen.  But not speaking?

I immediately downed my drink and asked Clay to get me two of the same.  We were chatting with a group of people who didn’t know Matt so no one noticed when he didn’t stop to say.  I acted like nothing was wrong.

Clay came back with three drinks for us.  I immediately downed one and took the other to nurse on.

“You okay there Kamal?” Clay said to me with a look of concern.

“Yeah Clay, I’m fine” I said.  “We came here to have fun and I refuse to let Matt put me in a bad mood.  Come on, I’ll introduce you to Van.” Read more…

Really Heather?

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Van Goodwin invited you to the event “Bon Voyage!” read the email from Facebook that I received several days ago.  I let the invite linger in my Inbox, giving some time for the RSVPs to trickle in.

Matt and I had been avoiding each other since our email tête-á-tête about traveling together to the bike race in Ohio.  While we weren’t going out of our way to completely switch up our respective routines, we would occasionally send each other a message like “I’m not going to happy hour tonight” which we both knew meant, “you can go there tonight and have no fear of me walking in and making things awkward.”

Being invited to Van’s event presented a potential problem.  Van was leaving DC for several months on a work trip and there was much talk about sending him off with a bang.  I wasn’t “best friends” with Van (and neither was Matt), but I wanted to go and show my support and I knew that Matt would want to do the same. Read more…

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The conversation I had with Matt after our training ride turned out not to be our last.  For the next couple weeks we’d meet to train for the race.  Some days were fine and it seemed like we were making progress.  Whether that was towards a friendship or something more, I wasn’t quite sure.

Other days he’d say something that would upset me and biting comments about the break up would be hurled, and/or he would go silent at the prospect of me saying something that admittedly wouldn’t be all that nice.  After two weeks of getting emotional with each other, we took a break and started training separately.

I received an email from the Race Committee letting me know that I should have received my race packet, as they were sent in the mail last week.  I hadn’t received mine, so I emailed Matt to see if he received his.  I got this email from Matt in response: Read more…

via fixiefiend.com

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I could see the spires of the Mormon Temple rising above the tree line as we biked back towards the beginning of Beach Drive in Rock Creek Park.  Matt was a bike length or two behind me on his Bianchi.  We took turns taking lead but never really drafted off each other; which also meant that we weren’t really working together.

The bike ride was going pretty much like the telephone call Matt and I had after Jarrod told me about his conversation with Matt.  It was a little awkward, mostly filled with silence and long pauses, and the conversation that we did have was technical or logistical in nature.

When I called Matt, I didn’t want to launch into anything about how or why he abruptly ended our relationship.  If there was something he truly had to say, I wanted to give him as much breathing room as he needed to feel comfortable saying it.

In all honesty, I wanted him to say that he was sorry and yes, I wanted to hear the words “maybe we can give it another try” roll off of his beautiful lips.  Carrie, Samantha, Miranda and Char were helping me slowly get over Matt, but Jarrod’s new information that Matt was having regrets put a halt to all of that.  I was in that murky place of limbo where you want to get over the person but still want to be open to them wanting to come back. Read more…