Kissing Kamal

I rarely issue a rant on this blog but I’ve felt the need to say this for some time now: you don’t need him.

While “he” could be anyone, it’s probably the guy who just dumped you.  Or the guy you’re waiting to take things from being “friends with occasional benefits” to actually dating.  Or it could be the guy you’re currently dating who just can’t seem to get it right.  The point it still the same: YOU DON’T NEED HIM. Read more…

You know I love me some Idris.  In case you missed this interview from the talk shows yesterday.  Enjoy.

It’s a shallow question I know, but the manscaping activities of a potential future boyfriend can rise to the level of a minor issue/annoyance while dating.

No matter how many men I’ve met and dated, I’m always amazed by the attraction and sexual turn on of head and facial hair.  I like to keep the hair on my head short, but I’ve had some guys try ever so nicely to get me to grow it out.  My response to this is always a polite “no.”

I know some guys like to “run their fingers through the hair” but for me, it’s too much work.  Longer hair means oil, oil sheens, brushes, trips to the “ethnic hair care aisle” in CVS, and the inevitable all-day spent waiting in the barber shop every other Saturday.  Sorry love, I know you like it but I can’t do it. Read more…

Have you ever dated a guy and things seem like they’re going great until he starts rescheduling dates or has “sudden plans,” and things between you and your potential future boyfriend trail off into nothingness?  Well it’s happened to me several times and I’ve determined that it’s because I can be a Dating Bully.

What is a Dating Bully?  Well it’s not someone who is just “pushy” or “aggressive.”  No matter how many times you call, text, or say “hey” to someone or Grindr, if they don’t want to talk to you then it’s probably not going to happen.  Fetch?

Although forcing dates to happen in a way that ensures you face-time with a potential future boyfriend, may make the guy feel like you’re forcing him into a situation. Read more…

Something on the TV last night got me thinking about age-appropriate dating.  I forget what it was … forgive me while I have a senior moment.

By age-appropriate dating, I don’t mean the thought that one should only date within a certain age range relevant to their current age.  That line of thinking works for some people, but as a rule I think it’s crap because love can come in many shapes, sizes and ages.

What I am talking about, are the places and venues in which one fella can meet another fella and not feel like he’s gone out to pasture or that he needs a secret decoder ring to understand all of the trendy slang being said all around him.  Totes jellz old bro? Read more…

If the right man came along at this very moment, would you seriously date him? If a relationship moved in the right direction would you settle down? If you’re answering ‘yes’ to these questions while checking your ManHut account, are you being honest with yourself about what you’re ready to believe in?

Notice I mentioned “belief” and not “desire.” I believe that I am honest with myself about what I’m looking for in life and in my relationships. I want a companion. I want an adventuresome marriage. I want to be a good parent. I’m clearly aware of my wants and when I can, I put effort into making these things reality. But does this effort and clarity of purpose mean that I’m ready to believe in the reality of what my desires currently are and what they can become in the future? Read more…

It was a busy night at the gym and the wait for a treadmill was five people deep.  The Resolutioners were hard at it, occupying every piece of equipment and determined to stick to their “new year new you” commitments.  After finally making it onto a treadmill that low and behold had a belt issue, I bagged the running idea and headed to the lap pool for a swim.

I had my swimsuit and goggles in my bag, and even though it wasn’t a swim day for me, I figured I had better chances sharing a lane with fellow swimmers than waiting for a working treadmill only to have a Becky giving me side-eye as a come close to the “30 minute limit on all cardio machines” rule.  I quickly showered, then headed for the pool deck.

Three out of four lanes were open.  Perfect. Read more…

Ain’t no party like a New Year’s Eve party cuz a New Year’s Eve party don’t stop!  Happy 2012 guys!

Sorry for getting this post out late as I was traveling a bit around the New Year.  In any event, let’s get to the point of this entry for today which is dating resolutions for 2012.

This year I decided to avoid the typical resolutions which, frankly speaking, are stupid and never amount to much of anything past February 1 anyway.  No, this will not be the year I get married.  Nor am I planning to have the perfect relationship with my perfect soul mate.  Nor am I planning to swear off dating entirely in 2012 and be a big ol’ ho; even if hood rats are making a comeback in 2012 (Black Mafia Wives?  Really people?!).

If 2011 was about putting yourself out there and creating opportunities for dating, romance and personal growth, then 2012 is going to be about what I call “tightening up.” Read more…

A lot of my women friends on Facebook have linked to or talked about the recent relationship advice post on the site Divine Caroline which is titled, “If A Man Wants You.”  The post passes on sage advice about not getting stringed along by a man, not putting his needs before yours, etc. etc.  You can read the advice post here.

Now if you’re a woman and you need to hear that kind of thing, or think it’s good advice to pass on, then have at it.  I’m all for people waking up to the reality of their situation and if this is something that helps, then great.  But as a gay man, I read the advice and the overarching thought running through my head was, there is no way in hell this ish applies to gay relationships. Read more…

Merry merry merry Marys.  As you all know by now, Facebook rolled out its new Timeline format and plans on making it mandatory in the next month or so.

Facebook Timeline is a true Stalker’s Delight; organizing all of your status updates, Wall posts, and most notably pictures (it seems that Facebook values our pictures more and considers worded thoughts only secondary) by year, month and day.  Want to know what I was doing on Facebook in 2008?  Just click on that year and view all of my updates, pics, trips, etc. in an easy to view format.  What’s also easy to view on the new Timeline is information about who your Facebook friends were dating and what possibly went wrong in the relationship.

Maybe it’s because I blog about dating but I’m noticing a fair amount of ex-boyfriends popping up in my Timeline.  Not that this is necessarily a bad thing.  I’m a firm believer in ending things on a good note, and don’t find anything wrong with Facebook highlighting my “Springtime Love” album (not that I would seriously have anything that cheesy … maybe…).

But what I do have a problem with is Facebook’s amazing ability to remember everything and difficulty in complying with your want to not remember certain things.  If I want to say, erase any memory of a certain someone from my Timeline then I should be able to do that without having to ‘Block’ the person.  Yeah, this might speak to other issues that I may not be managing well, but if Facebook can remember that I was “in relationship with” someone who I’m not even now friends with, then it should be able to connect the dots and give me an option to hide them from my Timeline for however long I see a need to do so. Read more…