Kissing Kamal

This post comes from a Reader Request that came in after my post about married guys on Scruff  (thanks again for all of your comments).  The reader said that he disagreed with my Scruff post and that “all married guys on Grindr and Scruff should be made to disclose their relationship status.”  So let’s take a moment to discuss the disclosure of relationship status in the context of online dating/meet up sites and see if there’s an easy answer to this conundrum.

As most guys who are single, gay and dating know, online sites and apps have a section in each profile where you can say if you’re Single, Dating, Partnered, in an Open Relationship, etc.  If there isn’t a specific section (note that Grindr didn’t initially come with this feature), then the argument goes that you should at least state your relationship status somewhere in your profile so other guys will know and be able to make a more informed decision about chatting you up. Read more…

It’s not just Scuff that should be singled out, as there seems to be more general awareness of partnered guys, guys in open relationships, etc. on meet up sites and apps these days.  But what does appear to be unique to Scruff is the outright dismissal and backlash by single fellas against guys online who aren’t single.

If you thought douchebags on Grindr was bad, there are just as many guys on Scruff who say things like “don’t talk to me if you’re in an Open Relationship,” or “I don’t understand why so many Partnered guys are on here,” or “If you’re Partnered just block me.”  So let’s explore the question for a moment: why exactly are there a lot of Partnered guys online and should they get off and leave the cruising to the non-committed?

Now I didn’t minor in cis-gender studies but I have my thoughts on the notable rise of guys in relationships being online.  Read more…

While I never claim to be an expert, I get a lot of email from folks looking for dating advice.  A large portion of the questions I receive relate to Grindr, as guys are looking for ways to be more appealing and have better chances at meeting other guys in real time.

One question that I get on a regular basis is, “why do guys block me on Grindr?”  I’ve written about better ways to approach men on Grindr here, and I definitely encourage guys to consider if they’re coming on too strong or sending signals that may be confusing.  But the one answer that applies most to the question of “why am I getting blocked,” in all likelihood comes down to one simple answer: maybe you’re being a douche.

Wondering what a Douchebag on Grindr might look like?  Well look no further, as the popular gay internet meme Douchebags of Grindr seeks to shine a light on douchey behavior in Grindr profiles.  The site posts pictures from Grindr profiles containing insensitive or offensive language.  Most of the profiles submitted have an arrogant tone to their language and say something like, “I don’t date [insert race here] so don’t even ask me,” or “I’m blocking you because [insert insensitive comment here].”

Because I was curious about this whole Douchebags of Grindr thing, I decided to interview the founder of the blog, who chatted with me under agreement of anonymity, and speak with Shaun F., whose Grindr profile was submitted to the Douchebags of Grindr website and had a few things of his own to say about it. Read more…

To all my non DC readers: if you haven’t heard, DC isn’t doing too well in the unnatural weather/disasters department lately. Just when we thought it couldn’t get any worse than 100+ degree summer days, along comes an earthquake with a healthy aftershock and now Hurricane Irene (cue Dexy’s Midnight Runners here).

With a hurricane looming over weekend plans, and the remote possibility that Mineral, Virginia hasn’t finished its business yet, folks are starting to make plans to hunker down and stay-in; which raises the question: do you find a date to ride out the storm with or do you go it alone?
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Peter Deluise from 21 Jump Street. DILF!!!

In honor of Fathers Day, we’re taking a look at the other gay dad that also deserves some Hallmark Holiday lovin: the gay Daddy.

I don’t know why but there are a lot more daddies on the dating scene lately.  It may be due to the aging of a gay generation, or that bear and gay hipster scenes are becoming more popular as guys move away from the shallow, youth-obsessed A-List gay drama.  Whatever the reasons, gay daddies are making a comeback and the younger men who like them are taking notice.

So what exactly is the fascination that some gay men have with a gay Daddy?  Does it really just boil down to a daddy/father-figure complex or is there something more?

Clint is a handsome, muscular gay man in his mid 40’s with salt and pepper hair.  He works out, takes care of himself, and has been dating several young men lately ages 19 to 24.  In case you’re wondering, Clint met a lot of these younger guys on Grindr.

When I asked Clint about being a dating Daddy he said, “I love that someone so young and good-looking is even interested in me.  It’s flattering, and it makes me feel like a lion in a pride. Read more…

Now that the smartphone phenomenon known as Grindr has been unleashed on the Android market for about two months now, I’ve noticed a lot of new faces showing up on my iPhone Grindr app wanting to say hello. Welcome to the party men, and the occasional Best Girl Gay Friend.

I talked about Grindr protocols in a previous post that you can read here, and since then I’ve gotten some questions from guys wanting to know why no one’s responding to their chats and why they’re getting blocked on Grindr. Here are some of my experiences with different Grindr chats that did nothing but made me want to hit Block:

Pitching A Fast One

While I appreciate this guy’s honesty, his approach came on way too strong for me and bordered on being down-right rude. Unlike a dating site, there isn’t a way for you to wink, nudge, poke or pull the hair of your potential beloved on Grindr so that they know you have an interest in them before you meet them via chat. Coming on too strong may not always work, and can leave a bad impression with the person you’re chatting with, and with their friends. See below …

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Yesterday Grindr came out with a version of their popular meet-up software for Android enabled phones, and a ton of guys rushed to catch the GPS meet-up wave known as “Grindring” that their iPhone cousins have been riding for the past couple years.

I’ve been on and off Grindr on my iPhone since the Android app came out and I’m happy to see so much fresh meat, uh, new faces wanting to say hi and chat.  That said, below are some tips I’ve compiled for new and old users alike on Grindr protocol.

Have a clear face pic! Come on guys.  This is Grindr not some ManHut site.  No one wants to play back and forth chit chat games with an unknown quantity or blurry headshot that could belong to the hot trainer at the gym or Gomer Pyle. Read more…

Yes, you've seen this somewhere...

I was at work one day on Facebook (as if I spend one day, at work, on Facebook), when a chat window suddenly appeared from Kenneth.  “Hey hey.” “Hi” I said in reply.

Kenneth was once Besties with a guy I had a summer flash with in New York (flash = shorter than a fling).  The Flash moved to London for graduate school and I fell out of touch with him and Kenneth.  “What’s up mi amigo” I wrote again, trying to figure out the reason for the random chat from a distant Facebook friend, and after some small talk about DC, NY and The Flash, Kenneth said “if I’m trying to attract a guy, which one of my profile pics is the cutest?”

Kenneth didn’t have a bad profile picture in the bunch, but his want for something cute and need for an objective opinion from a distant friend made me think that he was putting too much effort into finding a decent profile pic.  But hadn’t I gone through the same agonizing process just a few months ago? Read more…